We want it...but maybe we don't

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2016

Approach-avoidance syndrome is an often unrecognized curse, especially for competitive, goal-oriented runners and triathletes.

We want to set and reach a goal (for example, marathon or Ironman finish, or any distance, really), but its immensity and unknown characteristics scare us off.

We want to improve (get faster, finish higher in the age group, for example), but we are pushed away by the commitment, the work, the seeming sacrifice that improvement requires of us.

We have the capability to excel (and down deep, we know it), but are daunted by what will come after we reach new heights.

Two of many examples from my athletic career:

As I checked in for my first half Ironman triathlon in Muncie, Indiana, I was daunted by all the fit bodies and expensive equipment. What was I doing here? I wanted to leave and not race, thinking I would be "least and last."

It took me great resolve to register for my first Ironman Canada race. Who was I to be competing in a real Ironman, surely the race of champions, with qualifying slots for the Ironman World Championship in Hawaii? And when I arrived at the race, as was the case at the Muncie Endurathon, I was overwhelmed by the athletes, the gear and, in this case, by the course, its length and its mountain heights. I wandered around Penticton, Canada, before race day, working very hard to get up my resolve to get to the beach on race day.

Yet, in these cases and more, I found I could "belong," I raced, I was not "least and last" and in fact beat many of the fit bodies with the expensive equipment, I learned, I improved and I derived great enjoyment and satisfaction.

If you look deeply, do you find that approach-avoidance, being both attracted and repelled by a big goal, is impeding your growth and success as a runner or triathlete? If so, know that you are not alone. Most of us wrestle with the same dilemma.

The key to getting beyond the approach-avoidance syndrome is understanding that we are all capable and we are all invited to become better and more successful. Don't be your own worst critic! We may fail or fall short - but that just sets the stage for learning, growth, future improvement and success.

Set your goal, do the work and enjoy new heights and more ahead!

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ― Theodore Roosevelt